Parasites?

Both kids have been going through some big emotions lately. We visited family (that’s about 3 hours drive north of us) for the Memorial Day weekend. We stayed in a hotel for 2 nights and the stopped at th nearby aquarium before heading home. We brought along their tablets, which they don’t often get to use at home, and they’ve kinda continued to use them since then. This past weekend it was very rainy and muggy out, so we didn’t really do much. All this, in combination with long car rides and a broken DVD player (my daughter stuffed a coin in the DVD slot) in the car (making the car rides very long and boring for them too). 

MMC has always been convinced that our kids are somehow abnormal and too loud/rambunctious. They, like most preschoolers and toddlers, have sometimes short attention spans and easily have big emotions when things don’t go their way. Apparently because of this (very normal) behavior, MMC is overly critical of the way that I’m raising them. I prefer a gentler approach and don’t think that talking down to them or saying “because I said so” is the right approach. Knowing the why and having choices (even when we set the parameters) empowers them and makes them feel involved  in their day to day activities. 

Anyway… I digress a bit. The whole point of this is that this past weekend it seemed to come to a head. Both kids were tired, feeling a bit over-stimulated, and missing out on their regular structured day. Both were on edge and both were either screaming or hitting the other. MMC was not convinced of the tired/hungry/over-stimulated and immediately stated that he believed it might be a parasite they picked up at one of their forest school outdoor activities. 
I swear… I don’t make this shit up… A parasite is causing our preschooler and toddler to have meltdowns. Yup, I think I’ve about heard it all… A parasite?!?!? Bwahahaha!!!!

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One of those days…

So today was the big interview. Many things were prepared in order for things to work out with that. Some things didn’t work in our favor today, but in general things went very well and the kids had a great day too. I was going to stay at my friends house and have a mom’s night in with a group of other moms. The kids were exhausted after all the activities from today and we did everything possible to keep them awake until sleep time, which ended up being around 7pm. 

Both kids were asleep by 7:15 and I snuck downstairs to start cleaning up the mess/toys from the day. Forty-five minutes later both kids were awake and my son had a complete emotional overload. He wanted to go home and refused to go back to sleep. This also resulted in his sister waking up. I tried talking to him about staying, but I was very obvious that he wasn’t going to go back to sleep and that he wanted to be home. I decided to listen to his request. This was one of those decisions that I deeply believe are key to trust being developed with my children, that if there is something they truly feel needs to happen then I listen to them. I will never force them to do something they aren’t comfortable doing. 

Now we’re home and MMC is now making me feel even worse about the decision to come home and that we should’ve stayed, because he suffers from anxiety and he’s convinced that forcing our son to “deal” with it, rather than respect his request, is the way to help him get over it. I seriously can’t win with MMC most days lately.

Tonight I just can’t…

A little background: Tomorrow I have an interview for a part-time work-from-home financial position. The work would give us some extra income and it’s working for a not-for-profit organization I believe in (and run by moms too!). I have to physically interview for the position, so a friend of mine, who actually recommended me for the position, will be watching both kids. After the interview I’ll meet back at her house, where we’re having dinner and then a mom’s night in. I have to be in the neighborhood (with her) anyway the following day, so we’re all spending the night. 

Now for the story. I told MMC about the interview, he’s thrilled, and I told him about spending the night, he seems to think I’m weird. Tonight he came home at a semi-decent hour, and he was sitting at the dining room table eating my “scraped-together-at-the-last-minute-meal”, when he asked me the details of tomorrow. I told him that my friend will watch the kids and take them on an outing with her kids. He immediately rolled his eyes. I asked him what the eye roll was for. To which he responded “I can’t tell you because then you’ll tell the other people you talk to”. Okay… Stop the gosh darn truck! What the fuck is that supposed to mean?!  So now I’ve told my friend about this and I’m posting it here, because what he said is ducking stupid and it pisses me off that he can’t just tell me what he takes issue with. 

I don’t have any pretty picture to post with this (and to be honest, I think the words will be good enough). But seriously?! Does anyone else’s husband do this? 

My man cold is worse than yours!

For the past week all of us (hubby, kids (4 and almost 3), and I) have been sick and it’s making everyone more miserable and cranky being stuck indoors together. Tonight I was emptying out the dishwasher and I pulled the garlic press out of the utensil holder, only to discover that the garlic press had been closed while being washed. It still had garlic in it (very clean garlic, now, I might add)! So I mention to “Mr. Man Cold” that the garlic press needs to be open when being washed in the dishwasher, or it won’t get cleaned (didn’t even bring up the fact that the food particles should actually be completely removed too, because that would be too much to handle). All of a sudden he gets mad at me that all I do is bitch at him about everything he does wrong and adds why don’t you just blog about everything I do wrong… So here I am at 11:55pm EST on March 21 writing my first bitching blog.

I am not sure exactly where I’ll go with this blog, but I do like the idea of venting out my annoyance and frustration about him in a pretty anonymous space (for the entire world to see?).

After the “you should write a blog” rant I mention that he’s been putzing around and not helping much, to which he responds, well I’ve made breakfast, lunch, and dinner for everyone* and I’m more sick than you.

Seriously, read the little footnote, because every other day of the week I do everything food related (and he gets to go out to fancy restaurants in NYC with clients, where the meals are paid for and he doesn’t have to do any dishes or deal with screaming kids in the process).

The “I’m more sick than you” comment also makes me pretty angry. I don’t take medicine (I avoid it unless I absolutely think I can’t make it anymore, it annoys Mr. Man Cold to no end). My theory is two fold 1) my body is capable of fighting this off and 2) most medicines just mask the symptoms and tells your brain you’re feeling better than you really are, so you don’t slow down and let your body recover. When I have a cold I do some natural remedies (raw crushed garlic, raw honey, herbal teas and (thanks to a friend stopping by) some elderberry syrup too), but I physically slow down too and listen to my body.** I used to take every medicine I could get my hands on, but I stayed sick forever. It wasn’t until my third pregnancy, when I couldn’t take the usual pills, that I tried a more natural approach. I thought it was all poppycock and didn’t think it would work, but I recovered faster and it didn’t come back, like it normally used to.

Now Mr. Man Cold is definitely still sick and he does feel horrendous (and I feel a bit sorry for him) but I also don’t get the luxury to sit in the recliner and binge watch Battlestar Gallactica, while the wife and kids fend for themselves. I will give him browny points for cleaning the kitchen this morning and bringing in the trash bins (Monday and Thursday are trash pickup days and every other Monday is recycling, which happened to be today), but that’s all he did. I took out the trash, cancelled a dentist appointment, meal planned for the week, did grocery shopping, got cold medicine at cvs for Mr. Man Cold, returned books to library, made dinner, nursed the toddler (almost non-stop it feels like, because of the cold), emptied dishwasher, and reloaded it, folded laundry, cleaned up toys (again and again and again), and got our tax information together for accountant…. On top of changing the toddler and the constant requests for snacks and various toys. 

Anyway, I get it, your man cold is worse than mine, but sometimes I wish you’d stop and look to see what I’m constantly busy doing, because I’m exhausted and sick too and I don’t get a break.

*breakfast, for the kids (not me), was cereal this morning, the last time he made lunch for everyone…. Can’t even remember when that was, but certainly more than 3 months ago, and dinner…. That was almost a month ago, his meat olive rice dish (which requires cooking the meat, with some onions, and then dumping everything else into the pot to simmer for 30 minutes, during which time he spent it watching Lewis Black on his iPad, but was pretending like he was working hard)

**I have a Fitbit and average about 15k-18k steps per day, however on Sunday, when I was feeling absolutely shot, I did 2,878 steps for the whole day (I even managed to make dinner, from scratch)!